In our world today, it’s common practice for men, women, boys, and girls to exchange valentines on February 14. It’s a beautiful way to express affection to loved ones with cards, flowers, and candy. But have you ever wondered to yourself, “Who was St. Valentine?” Or, how did the traditions around his name get started? Spoiler alert: we’re not 100% sure!

In our world today, it’s common practice for men, women, boys, and girls to exchange valentines on February 14. It’s a beautiful way to express affection to loved ones with cards, flowers, and candy. But, who was the real St. Valentine? And how did the traditions around his name get started? The answers might surprise you.

Who was St. Valentine?

Dozens of men named Valentine (or Valentinus in Latin) lived between the second and eighth centuries. There was at least one Valentine who was a priest—and was tragically martyred for his Christian faith under the Roman emperor Claudius II. The date of his death was February 14, around A.D. 269. Obviously, this day in February connects Valentine to the holiday that bears his name.

I wish I could tell you more about this priest named Valentine, but historians are not sure we have the whole story straight. You see, though we know a priest named Valentine was beheaded in Rome on February 14, some think that  two other Christian men named Valentine might have been martyred near the same time. If so, it is more difficult to answer with certainty, “Who was St. Valentine?” (It’s likely their stories have been confused over time!)

Removed from a Calendar?

As it stands, one of the other men named Valentine may have been a bishop in the town of Interamna (which is now Terni, Italy).  The other Valentine may have lived in a Roman province in Africa. The Roman Catholic Church of today has been so confused over the matter that in 1969 they removed Valentine from the General Roman Calendar. (Of course, Valentine is still recognized, but his name appears on a different calendar of people honored by the Roman Catholic Church.) So are you starting to see why I may not be able to give you a straight answer to the question, “Who was St. Valentine?”

Besides the confusion about Valentine’s true identity, fascinating legends about St. Valentine abound in folklore, making it nearly impossible to know fact from fiction. Some say one man named Valentine was martyred because he married Christians in secret at a time when Claudius II banned weddings. (Claudius supposedly banned weddings so that more young men would serve as Roman soldiers.) Others say that while someone named Valentine was in prison, he healed the jailer’s daughter of blindness and left her a note signed,“Your Valentine.” We may never know the truth behind these stories, or have a definite answer to who was St. Valentine because these tales have been greatly romanticized and blended together.

Lupercalia

Now, you may still be wondering what any of these men named Valentine had to do with the modern tradition of pink hearts and chocolate. Well, apart from folklore, very little! But February 15th happened to be the date of an ancient Roman festival of love. On that feast day, which was called Lupercalia, the Romans honored Juno, the supposed goddess of women and marriage. They also honored Pan—believed to be the god of nature.

During the festival of Lupercalia, young men and women would draw names out of a box for a partner. The couple would spend time together and exchange gifts. Some of these couples would marry as a result of the courtship. By tradition, Cupid was almost always involved. According to Roman mythology, Cupid was the god of desire and the son of Venus, the alleged goddess of love. It was thought that a shot from one of Cupid’s arrows made a person fall in love! To this day, he is depicted as a chubby little boy with golden wings, usually holding a bow and arrow.

In our world today, it’s common practice for men, women, boys, and girls to exchange valentines on February 14. It’s a beautiful way to express affection to loved ones with cards, flowers, and candy. But, who was the real St. Valentine? And how did the traditions around his name get started? The answers might surprise you.

Pope Gelasius

As you can imagine, it was difficult for the Christians living in the Roman Empire to deal with all the pagan festivals like Lupercalia that surrounded them. Christians didn’t believe in the fanciful Roman gods and goddesses. They certainly didn’t believe that true love came from Cupid’s little arrows! So in 495, Pope Gelasius decided to declare February 14 as Saint* Valentine’s Day to replace the pagan festival of Lupercalia on February 15 and honor a martyr named Valentine. It was a gesture by the Early Church to Christianize a pagan tradition.

Was Pope Gelasius successful? Did he change the Roman tradition? For a time his plan may have worked. I imagine that for years Christians spent time on February 14 remembering martyrs and praying for the persecuted. But almost two thousand years later, a trip to your local grocery store or drug store in early February will tell a different story. Instead of remembering martyrs and the persecuted, most stores are busy selling chocolates, heart-shaped trinkets, and greeting cards of all shapes, sizes, and scents. Cupid is just about everywhere!

Jesus’s Command to Love

I don’t think it’s in poor taste to express love and friendship on February 14. I kind of like it! It’s just a shame that Valentine, the priest and martyr, isn’t better remembered for what he and hundreds like him endured under the early Roman emperors. I believe it’s important to reflect on the hardship and sacrifice they made. Maybe next Valentine’s Day, besides sending sweet gifts and notes to loved ones, you’ll remember what Jesus said about love: “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.” (John 15:13–14).

*The word saint means “holy” and comes from the Latin sanctus (Acts 9:32, Rom. 1:7, and 1 Cor. 1:2). The Roman Catholic Church holds that all who are in heaven are saints; however, they additionally award the title to extraordinary men and women in history who meet certain criteria.

Who was St. Valentine—Activities for All Ages!

  • All Students: Host a Valentine’s Day party for your class or family with sweet treats and cards of love and encouragement for every participant.  At some point, remember the martyrdom of Valentine and pause to pray for the persecuted!
  • Younger Students: You don’t have to wait for Valentine’s Day to express appreciation to someone who loves you. Make a card for someone special using your handprints to decorate the front.
  • Middle Students: Modern-day Valentine cards, patterned after the ancient Roman festival of love, do little to remember the love of God displayed by the historical martyr named Valentine. The Greek language has at least four different words for love that each mean something different. They are: agape, eros, philia, and storge. Research each word. On notebook paper, write a short definition for each.On the same paper, use the right word in a sentence or two to describe the historical Valentine.
  • Older Students: Valentine’s Day is not the only pagan holiday that early believers tried to Christianize. Many common Christmas traditions stem from the ancient Roman festival called Saturnalia. Research the history of Saturnalia. 1) What was the Roman holiday designed to celebrate? 2) When was it celebrated? 3) What were a few of the common customs? Draw your own conclusion about how some of these traditions were borrowed by the Early Church. Discuss the pros and cons of this practice. Brainstorm ways that your family or classroom can incorporate sacred Christmas traditions in a secular society.